Han Solo.

The Kessel Run was one of the most heavily-used routes in the Galactic Empire. It is an 18 parsec route used by smugglers in order to avoid the Imperial ships who police the movement (read: smuggling) of Glitterstim spice. Han Solo claimed that his Millennium Falcon “made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs”. Many Star Wars nerds will moan at you that a parsec is a unit of distance, not time, but Solo was not referring directly to his ship’s speed when he made this claim. Instead, he was referring to the shorter route he was able to travel by skirting the nearby Maw black hole cluster, thus making the run in under the standard distance. By moving closer to the black holes, Solo managed to cut the distance down to about 11.5 parsecs. The smuggler BoShek actually beat Solo’s record in his ship, Infinity, but without cargo to weigh him down. A few months later, Han Solo beat both his own and BoShek’s records in a run he made with Luke Skywalker.

Lol BoShek -pwnt.

How to handle an emergency situation.

Sound sources include field recordings of airport announcements, hammering on metal plates at the former Kabelwerk Oberspree, Berlin, several sounds captured inside the large radio antenna dome at Teufelsberg, Berlin, dripping water at the Botanical Garden Florence, air condition systems and turbines in Las Vegas, Frankfurt and Tokyo, walking on rocks in Joshua Tree National Park, wind from the Grand Canyon, a friends answering machine, a printer, conversations via mobile phones, typing on an old Macintosh keyboard and recordings from tunnel works in Switzerland.

This is important.

I logged into Demonoid.com this morning and saw this, so I’m posting it here. Reblog this to wherever you see fit (spread the word, basically) if you’re even remotely interested in keeping the Internet an open, free forum.

This isn’t just about Piracy and people who want shit for free – this is about censorship and a restriction of information. Instead of making criminals of us all, governments are willing to censor the Internet as they see fit. Whatever they don’t like the look of will be removed. This is clearly a step in the wrong direction and something needs to be done about it.

First it was the Digital Economy Bill in the UK, then ACTA in the US and Canada, now this?

COICA

In the United States, a new law proposal called The Combating Online Infringement and Counterfeits Act (COICA) was introduced last week, and there will be a hearing in front of the Judiciary Committee this Thursday.

If passed, this law will allow the government, under the command of the media companies, to censor the internet as they see fit, like China and Iran do, with the difference that the sites they decide to censor will be completely removed from the internet and not just in the US.

Please see the following article from the Huffington Post for more information.

Stop the Internet Blacklist

And if you are a US citizen, please take the time to sign this petition
DemandProgress.org – Petition to Stop the Internet Blacklist!

US citizens; you can email your Senator from the following link and tell him or her your concerns about this bill

Tell Your Senator: No Website Blacklists, No Internet Censorship!

From EFF’s website: the Senate Judiciary Committee postponed the scheduled markup of the Internet censorship bill — a fantastic outcome, given that the entertainment industry and their allies in Congress had hoped this bill would be quickly approved before the Senators went home for the October recess. Massive thanks to all who used the EFF Action Center to write to your Senators to oppose this bill.

I knew a guy once…

… who told me that Bob Dylan was and continues to be more influential than Jesus Christ. If so then let this message ring out among the people.

Come musicians and actors
who want more than they earn,
and you greedy producers
will too have to learn,
if we don’t like your media
we won’t pay in return,
and it will not ever be staging.
So the copy protection
shouldn’t be your concern,
for the times, they are a-changing.

(Sung to the tune of The Times They Are a-Changin‘)

Physics.

DATA

  • 1 Joule will propel 0.2g at 0.1 km/s
  • The Sun puts out 3.86E26 watts (joules/sec)
  • Average amount of semen ejaculated per muscular spasm = 2.5ml
  • Average time of muscular spasm = 0.8 seconds
  • Mass of 1 ml of semen = 1.1g
  • The speed of light = 300,000 kps

PROCESS

  • Convert to J required of semen x velocity set to 0.1kps
  • This would require 13.75 joules to propel 2.75g of matter to 0.1kps

ENERGY OUTPUT

  • The Sun emits 3.86E26 watts which is the equivalent to 3.089E26 joules in 0.8 seconds
  • 1000 suns in 0.8 seconds would emit 1.0929J in 0.8 seconds

VELOCITY OF EJACULATION AT THE FORCE OF 1000 SUNS

0.1kps 3.09E29J
13.75J 2.25E25 kps
  • The speed of light = 300,000 kps
  • 2.25E25 kps / 300,000kps = 1.49E21

CONCLUSION

  • To ejaculate at the force of 1,000 Suns would mean that your semen would be travelling at 7.49 Billion Trillion times the speed of light as it left the glans.
  • Not only would your semen be travelling at 7.49 Billion Trillion times the speed of light, but you would be propelled backward by the sheer force of this almighty load at around 2681 Trillion times the speed of light.

I’m not anymore.

This makes me happy to be alive.

DEact.

Fuck the Act to make provision about the functions of the Office of Communications; to make provision about the online infringement of copyright and about penalties for infringement of copyright and performers’ rights; to make provision about internet domain registries; to make provision about the functions of the Channel Four Television Corporation; to make provision about the regulation of television and radio services; to make provision about the regulation of the use of the electromagnetic spectrum; to amend the Video Recordings Act 1984; to make provision about public lending right in relation to electronic publications; and for connected purposes.

Fuck it.